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Sorry Mr. 5 year old kid you bounced 3 times on the diving board that will be $250 or three days at hard labor

Ohio city contemplating making it criminal to violate swimming pool rules. (If criminal laws work, why do we have prisons?) A swimmer education program would be too much trouble and might save lifes?

There is no way to explain this, you just have to read the article. Avon drafts new pool rules with fines, charges and jail time as punishments.

How many double jumping five year olds do you think understand the difference between a rule and a law?

Since it is a law, and you are presumed to know and understand the law, the city does not even have to post signs about the rules. They can open the pool for free and just turn it into a source of revenue for the city.

Here are some of the rules from the article.

·         No Gum

·         No Cameras

·         No Coolers

·         Only one bounce permitted on the diving board

·         Weak or non-swimmers are to remain in shallow, shoulder height water. (We will identify you when we find you at the bottom of the pool)

·         Anyone under the influence of alcohol or drugs will be refused entry or removed from the premises.

·         Horseplay (running, shoving, dunking, disobeying water feature rules, etc.) and profanity are not permitted.

·         Persons with infectious diseases, open sores, or recently with diarrhea are not permitted in the pool(s) or sprayground. (OK, so how are these people spotted? Besides brown stripes on their bathing suits)

·         Lifeguards are responsible for enforcing any additional rule& that, in their judgment, will help maintain a safe pool for your use and pleasure. (Even better, lifeguards are now allowed to make up rules to make your life a living hell cause you did not go out with me last week.)

·         Water is not meant for drinking (so I guess we are pushing the concession stand big time…..)

·         Take regular rest room breaks (You, yes you, you have not gone to the bathroom for 1 hour. You are in bathroom timeout!)

·         Do not engage in prolonged underwater breath holding (another group that will be identified on the bottom of the pool.  Who decides what prolonged is by the way?)

·         Enter water feet first, no diving in shallow water, (but what about deep water?)

·         No running on the diving board (makes sense I guess with only one bounce…)

·         No acrobatic dives

·         Patrons may not catch younger children who are jumping off the board. (the city prefers to let them drown?)

·         Competitive diving requires appropriate supervision. (Cause we don’t want your friends saying that was a great dive, we only want judges!)

You can find the complete list of rules here.

Are we may be giving lifeguards too much power. Will the lifeguards in addition to taking Red Cross training have to be certified law enforcement officers to issue tickets? (Where are they going to keep their ticket book in swim trunks?)

This is how stupid this gets.

“If you do have a child deliberately breaking the rules we want to have the ability to come back and say, ‘hey you’re not supposed to be doing that,'” Jensen added.

It isn’t enough to have a rule that would allow you to through someone out of the pool and keep them out.

Is there a power hungry pool supervisor behind the scenes plotting the over through of Avon Ohio?

Why is the city council making the rules for the pool? Isn’t that the job of the park manager or the pool manager? Avon city council, got nothing else to do?

Can you see someone like the soup Nazis standing next to the diving board screaming at each kid “one jump for you!”

What do you think? Leave a comment.

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